A few weeks ago, I finished recording an interview with Dr. Mathew Vroman from Alaska about cultural intelligence and working with global organizations. Right after we stopped recording, Riverside surprised me with a series of snapshots taken during our conversation.

There I was, looking at dozens of versions of myself. In one photo my forehead was furrowed in concentration. In another, my mouth seemed to be saying, “Wait, I’m not sure I agree.” In others I was smiling broadly, clearly enjoying the conversation.

It was funny to see all those expressions next to each other, but it also made me think. We often assume that we are quite good at reading faces. But faces may not be as easy to read as we think.

From an early age, we learn cultural expectations about showing emotion. In some environments it may be perfectly acceptable to show frustration, enthusiasm or disagreement openly. In others, people may learn to reduce or mask those emotions, particularly in formal situations or in the presence of someone senior. This means that two people may feel something similar and still show it differently.

Research by Hillary Anger Elfenbein and Nalini Ambady found that people can sometimes recognize emotional expressions more accurately when they are expressed by members of their own cultural group. Familiarity and exposure seem to matter too. In other words, reading a face is not simply about what is happening on the face itself. We bring our own experience and cultural expectations into the interpretation.

This reminded me of a story I included in my book, Global Cultural Interplay. When I wrote the book, I did not want to present global culture from only one point of view. Just as one facial expression cannot tell the whole story, neither can one cultural perspective. So I invited 48 consultants from around the world to contribute their knowledge, experiences and stories. One of them was Colin Harlow, who has lived in Southeast Asia since 1994. He shared a story that has stayed with me because it shows how easily we can see an expression and misunderstand its meaning.

The Smile That Meant Something Else

A newly arrived expat teacher in Thailand was getting onto a local bus while it was moving. He slipped, fell and rolled into the aisle. When he got up and looked around, he noticed that several passengers were smiling at him.

He was offended. From his perspective, the meaning seemed obvious. He had just embarrassed himself and the people around him were amused.

Colin explained that the smiles could mean something quite different. In Thailand, he explained, people may smile not only when they are happy or amused, but also to express compassion or regret, or when they are unsure how to react. In -particular situation, the passengers were expressing sympathy and trying to help the teacher avoid losing face.

This is where cross-cultural communication becomes particularly interesting. We do not enter an interaction as neutral observers. We bring with us years of experience about what a smile means, what silence means, what eye contact means and what an enthusiastic or serious expression tells us. Most of the time we are not even aware that we are interpreting. It simply feels as though we are seeing what is there.

The same thing happens every day in global business. This is one reason cultural intelligence matters so much in global organizations. It does not mean learning a fixed set of rules about what every gesture or facial expression means in every country. That would simply replace one stereotype with another. It is much more about becoming aware of our own interpretations. Instead of assuming that we have correctly understood what we see, we can remain curious a little longer. We can look for context, notice patterns over time and, when it matters, ask rather than assume.

When I look again at those photographs from my interview with Mathew, I still recognize myself in every expression. I know which moments made me smile, when I was concentrating and when I was considering something he had said. But someone else looking at the same photographs only has part of that information.

Perhaps that is the more useful lesson for global leaders. Reading people well is not only about becoming more observant. Sometimes it is about becoming a little less certain about what we think we have observed.

Further Reading & Resources

Research: Elfenbein, H. A. & Ambady, N. (2002). On the Universality and Cultural Specificity of Emotion Recognition: A Meta-Analysis. Read the full research paper (PDF).

Conversation: My interview with Dr. Mathew Vroman on cultural intelligence and working across cultures. Watch the interview.

Book: Global Cultural Interplay, including the “Thai Smiles” story and contributions from 48 intercultural consultants around the world.